The Best Way to Start Your Day

Beditation: Won't you join me?

Photo by Bruno van der Kraan on Unsplash

The Simple Art of Beditation 

In the quiet of the early morning, before I get out of bed, but after my alarm has gone off, I “beditate.” It’s a word Mr. J and I made up. It means “Meditate in Bed,” or “Bed Meditation.” “Beditation.” I used to call it “Horizontal Meditation,” but Mr. J and I find combining two words into a single word hilarious. It’s something we have been doing for 25 years. Why stop now? Part of the point of this is to celebrate my love for Mr. J.

The Practice of Beditation 

The practice of beditation is to first, experience the glory that is lying in bed, knowing you have set aside ten minutes, (or whatever) just to soak up the pleasure. The soft flannel, or crisp percale, the weight of the blankets, the fluffiness of the comforter, your favorite pillow. In my case, the weight of my cat on my hip is part of beditation. As is my dog’s wet nose snuffling around in the blankets. That is the first part of beditation.  

The second part of beditation, for me, is to list the things I am grateful for. Obviously, being gloriously horizontal in a comfy place frequently makes my list. On days I am in the depths of despair, hot water comes to mind quite often. Because who doesn’t like hot water. There are no rules to beditation gratitude, other than being grateful. And being grateful for hot water and a good bed can be enough. But most days, I am more than capable of finding additional things to be grateful for. Avocado toast. Curly hair shampoo. Springtime. A full bag of cat food. The luxury of time to write. A thousand memories with Mr. J, and time to make more. Coffee. Pipe smoke. Soft towels that are clean. I am grateful for big things and small things. Every day, (well, almost every day) I remind myself of how lucky I am. 

The Point of Beditation 

The point of beditation is just that – to remind myself how lucky I am. Because if I just focus on the terrible awful of Mr. J’s condition, which has no treatment and no cure and he will die from, well, then, I am not very grateful. But also not very happy. And not very productive. And, since I am now the sole breadwinner, I need to be productive. And since I am human, I’d prefer to be happy. So, I beditate, ticking things I am grateful for off on my fingers in the early morning hours, before I am consumed by the distractions of the day.  

A Word of Caution 

I am sad to report beditation doesn’t actually fix anything. Mr. J is still dying. I am still trying to get the deluge of hospital and Dr’s bills under control. My work still fulfills me in ways that have nothing to do with my personal life. However, while beditation can’t fix things, it can change things. It changes my attitude. It changes the depth of my patience. It changes my panic level. It changes me, in that I am far more likely to respond, rather than react to things that I find challenging. 

A Tool in the Self Actualization Toolbox 

About six months ago, I was meeting with a friend, who asked what I was doing to take care of myself. My therapist and I have developed a list of “Resiliency Building Activities” (which is the topic of another post) that I work on daily. Beditation is one of those activities. I told my friend (and I believe it to be true) “By the time Mr. J dies, I am going to be as self actualized as f*ck.”   Or I might just be a quivering mess. Time will tell.